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ESQUIRE'S DUBIOUS ACHIEVEMENTS 2005 |
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In the 1840s he opened a photographic portrait studio on Fulton & Broadway in New York City |
(Mathew) Brady
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Specific term for a person from 60 to 69 years old |
sexagenarian
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A Massachusetts cape is named for this state fish, a valuable food source |
cod
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In 1859 Martha Coston patented these devices that sailors could send into the sky to communicate |
flares
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"You Know, Frank's Brother": he "announced that he will write, direct and star in Rocky VI" |
Sylvester Stallone
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I can't believe the ref called one of these on our goalie for elbowing, but I'm ready to go to the box & serve it |
a penalty
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Carrie Chapman Catt succeeded this woman as president of the National American Woman Suffrage Association |
Susan B. Anthony
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To prepare a patient to return to normal life |
(Bruce: What's re-ha-bil-i-tate?) (Alex: You-are-cor-rect.)
rehabilitate
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The largemouth species of this fish is the state fish of Alabama, Florida, Mississippi & Georgia |
bass
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This device was first developed by Zenith in 1950 under the name "Lazy Bones" |
a (TV) remote control
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This Russian president pocketed a Super Bowl ring being shown to him; Esquire speculated that he pawned it |
Putin
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Put me in as this substitute on the basepaths! I'll steal second before you know it |
a pinch runner
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A flag with a red cross on it flies over her Glen Echo, Maryland home, now a National Historic Site |
Clara Barton
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This curry-flavored soup takes its name from the Tamil for "pepper water" |
mulligatawny
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Called a muskie for short, it's Wisconsin's state fish |
a muskellunge
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One of the first of these was based on an inclined conveyor belt & used in a NYC elevated train station in 1900 |
an escalator
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"Actually, We're Gonna Go With 'Mr. Spears'": "Back then they called me K-Fed, but you can call me Daddy instead", he rapped |
(Kevin) Federline
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Coach, we need rebounds. I can lead us to the promised land like this Hall of Fame Rockets & Sixers center |
(Jennifer: Oh... Who is Iverson? (Scott: Who is Isiah Thomas?) ... (Alex: Talkin' about centers here, not guards. [*]. Moses--leading us to the promised land.)
Moses Malone
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We tell you no "tails": 19th c. astronomer George Phillips Bond discovered 11 of these celestial bodies |
comets
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A part of the mind just under the surface from which feelings or thoughts can influence behavior |
the subconscious
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This largest species of salmon, Oregon's state fish, shares its name with an Indian tribe & may grow to 3 feet |
the Chinook salmon
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In 1893 this German engineer published "The Theory and Construction of a Rational Heat Engine" |
(Bruce: What is Otto?) ... (Alex: [German accent] Who was [*]?)
Rudolf Diesel
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"If He's Not Careful, He's Going to Hurt His Reputation": this "Cinderella Man" threw a phone at a hotel worker |
(Bruce: Uh, who is... Cage?)
Russell Crowe
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Put me in at quarterback! Wilson & I have been working on this old-time trick play named for a monument |
(Alex: It's the old [*].)
Statue of Liberty play
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Civil War veteran Ira Dutton became Brother Joseph & helped Father Damien care for the lepers on this island |
Molokai
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From the German for "bell play", it's the metallic percussion instrument heard here |
the glockenspiel
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South Dakota chose the walleye, while North Dakota chose the northern type of this fish |
a pike
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Invented by Philip Drinker in the 1920s, this closed respirator is used by patients who can't breathe on their own |
an iron lung
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"Awkward Moments of the Year": Mike Myers' Hurricane Relief Show appearance with this hip-hopper |
Kanye West
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Put me in at this soccer position also called halfback--I can help on both offense & defense |
midfielder
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